Bathe In My Milk – Bizarre Buffet Podcast
All You Can Eat Weird
Bathe in my milk! This episode of Bizarre Buffet focuses around a series of bizarre fliers that went viral on the internet a few years back. This creepy advertisement was seeking individuals to “Bathe In My Milk”, with the featured woman whom was seeking said bathers for her milky pleasure.
Learn more about this wild phenomenon & its creator right here on Bizarre Buffet! Learn more about the story featured on this episode by following the links below!
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Alan Wagner Online (Artist/Creator)
The Story Behind the Creepy Fliers (NY POST)
” Bathe In My Milk ” – Episode Credits
Hosted By Mark Tauriello , Jen Wilson , & Marc Bluestein
Original Episode Art & Episode Concept By Mark Tauriello
Episode Production By Marc Bluestein
Released On September 19th, 2021
” Bathe In My Milk ” – Episode Show Notes
Bathe In My Milk
In late 2017, these bizarre printed flyers on 8.5×11 pieces of paper were popping up in Los Angeles, Phoneix, and Portland that left people intrigued, laughing, or flat out frightened. These fliers advertised a very strange service which was the chance to bathe in a bathtub of milk belonging to a silver haired woman serving a deadpan expressionless face.
The flier also directs you to the official website BatheInMyMilk.com (which is still up ands you can see al these fabulous images) where you can apparently set up an appointment to bathe in milk.
Aside from the service being advertised, the photos in these flyers make this even more strang. Multiple images were used for these flyers, all featuring men of all shapes, sizes, ages, and colors literally sitting in a bath tub full of, you know it, MILK.
Bathe In My Milk – Description
And if that isn’t bizarre enough, lets describe the setting. They sit in a bath of milk naked in a bathroom that looks downright dilapidated and cringe worthy dirty. The tub sits in the corner of this bathroom with a small window above it a crusty black towel sits hanging above the tub. The wall paper is stained and torn. The floor looks like concrete with the dirtiest bathmat you ever saw. Amongst these images of different men sitting in the milk filled bath tub, a mature icy faced woman hauntingly stares expressionless at you the viewer while standing next to the milk bath. She stands wearing a white night gown with stains and puffy slippers. In one of these ads you can see her watching from outside the bathroom window.
The entire vibe is ominous and in one image there is a rope sitting next to the tub. According to these very handmade ads, this service is only open to men. You have the option to chose the milk! Soy, almond, or traditional. It also states “Use My sponge. I will Watch you”
Where Did ” Bathe In My Milk ” Come From?
So what is all this? Where did it come from? Who are these people? Where are they? Is this breast milk? The entire thing created a rabbit hole of questions, making it to the news, social media, and many Reddit Threads. As much as I wish this was real, and an actual service… it was all an elaborate prank/ semi art piece by a man named Alan Wagner.
Alan Wagner
Alan is based out of LA and his website claims he creates “videos and things” with aspirations of making movies and larger things. But this is what he is doing now.
According to the NY POST that did an article about this, Wagner camp up with this idea when a beverage company asked him to come up with a meme that would make the drink go viral. He offered top this concept but it was rejected for being too out there.. So he decided to do it on his own.
The entire bathroom was completely fabricated (I believe he made this fake bathroom in his garage and purchased items for home depot and returned them after the shoot).
The people in the photos were either friends or actors he recruited online and paid $20 each. One guy had no idea what he signed up for and arrived to this “set” in a suit. The entire project cost him only $300
BATHE IN MY MILK isn’t his only strange advertorial art/ comic creation. He has put together many different types of these ads featuring bizarre services / messages whilst keeping the very Microsoft Word aesthetic with bizarre images.
Found This Bird
FOUND THIS BIRD: Features an image of a pigeon on a side walk with a bold caption “FOUND: THIS BIRD” In bold red text it asks “IS THIS YOURS” and then a small list of bullet point captions (much like bathe in my milk) saying
- No name tag. +Yelled every name at it, doesn’t respond to any. +Obeys no commands (very poorly trained)
It then says in a text box below “Not going to hold onto your bird much longer… it’s terrorizing my dogs and daugther (which featured a random image of this persons alleged daughter). The bottom directs them to CLAIMTHISBIRD.NET
I Can Remove Blood Stains
In this fake Ad it shows a picture of a middle ages man probably early 50s who can look like anyones dad. He is seen on all 4’s wearing khakis and a plaid shirt while being on a white carpet with a huge blood stain. His face is planted into the floor as if he is licking the blood stain. The next image is him on the floor with blood on his mouth but a very clean carpet with no more blood!
It then goes to say “ Works best when it’s fresh, so call immediately” “A little trick my aunt taught me” “works for blood ONLY- no other bodily juices of oils. It then directs them to a phone number (724-307-5774) to use this alleged service. When you call this number you are greeted by a man who sounds out of breath who keeps ominously repeatedly saying “I can remove blood stains. I can remove blood stains. Please leave a message after the tone.
Wagner dreams of being self employed, and with his wit and humor I think he is well on his way. Him and his partner Marquez want to push the boundaries of comedy, making it a more interactive experience. You can see more of hid work on his Instagram which is TRUEWAGNER
And this is why he fits in with the Bizarre Buffet Universe
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